I received the one of the biggest compliments, or at least what meant the most to me this weekend when after I spoke at the Superwoman Summit. This woman, a trusted friend said “ I loved that when you were on stage you were the same woman who I have had drinks with. The same woman who I see in real life.” Thank you.
I think it is common place for people to exclaim “This is just me, its the only person I know how to be.” But from my own experience this is not true. Some times who we are, who we REALLY are deep down in our bones is the hardest person to be and the one who rarely shows up.
Out of protection, survival and learned behaviors we present to the world the person who we think "they" want. The person that maybe will get approval or get accepted for who she is representing at the moment. The woman who is not TOO much, but just the right amount. The woman who must play it small or fake fierceness so as to stay safe. We often show up as the woman we were taught was nice, who is caring and selfless, or who is bold and brave, who is cool and doesn’t care about “all that”, the woman who can DO IT ALL. We show up as the person we have learned gets praised who achieves the things society or our community says matters. We have learned to shield our pain and our vulnerability out of fear that we will either be met with a disapproving attitude or even worse a solution to “fix” our human-ness.
So when this woman said that to me, I let myself receive this compliment to its fullest intention. Because I have worked really fucking hard at being me - because it is not easy to let the world see the real you. To see your gifts AND to see your challenges.
I let myself receive this because it meant more to me than any other praise, it meant that I am finally realizing that the real me is good enough, that all of me is worthy of witness.
And that woman showed up on stage this weekend and that was a really big moment for me.
Thank you to all the women who were apart of this incredible weekend. The ones who have given me a chance, the ones who have held space for me, the ones who see me for me who I am, the ones who I am consistently inspired by you all are the fuel to my fire.