As Harlow and I were stuck in traffic on the way to school she said, with enthusiasm, “Mom! Look at that rain drop on the window! Isn’t it so pretty how the sun makes it sparkle? Its like magic, like the sun got trapped in there.”
My first response, was a nonchalant "yah cool".
And then I actually heard the hurried autopilot response I had just given her.
I realized I let her words be a passing by, something I often do when we are rushing around.
So I looked at the rain drop on my front window and was filled with the pleasure that comes when magic and beauty enter my being. Like the lightness of “awe” with the thickness of honey down the throat*.
I turned around I told her thank you. "Thank you for noticing things like that, it is one of the reasons I love you so much." And she asked me “Mama, do you notice things like that?” And I said, "Yes I do, when I remember to. And I am so grateful to have you to remind me. Not everyone notices.”
So despite the rush to get out of the house. Despite the aftertaste that a busy weekend single parenting that included three birthday parties and two valentine’s day parties leaves on your nervous system. Despite my to-do list that always seems to get longer instead of shorter I let the beauty of that rain drop on my windshield infiltrate and nourish me.
That one rain drop filled my whole bucket.
You see it doesn't matter WHAT we do to fill ourselves up, but it is that we remember that we do in fact fill up.
Remember that somedays it might be an elaborate spa day or trip to the coast. Other days it might be opening to the beauty of the ordinary and the possibility that what is in front of you is exactly what you need.
*I wanted to note that a client recently used this description of "honey down the throat" during one our sessions. I was so taken by it and have noticed how well it described my own soothing sensation that is present with me when I am present with beauty in the world. I won't share the name for privacy, but wanted to give credit. Also I think it is so wonderful to find phrases like this to describe when you feel "alive", what does joy or beauty actually feel like to you??? Write it down! Remember it. This is your body's language you get to decode. Once you begin to recognize what the goodness feels like you can begin to turn towards more and more. xoxo