Ep. 112: He Always (Or Only) Wants Sex

When you have the thought, “All he wants is sex from me, so I should want to have sex with him,” how does that feel in your body? Does that allow you to feel pleasure and lit up and turned on? Absolutely not! So many women come to me with this belief that all their partners want is sex, or that there’s a problem with them because they don’t have the same level of desire as their partner. They then assign meaning to it which creates negative emotions and feelings, none of which create space for pleasure.

The belief that our partners want to have sex with us is a totally neutral situation. However, so often we assign meaning to this that only allows for guilt and shame, which do not allow for pleasure. In this episode, let’s look at these thoughts about our partner’s desire and explore how we can shift away from obligation and frustration to a place of excitement and desire, for you.

This is the exact process we work through in Better Sex in 90 Days, the group program where we dive into the beliefs that keep you from pleasure. We take these thoughts and see how it’s impacting you, and step-by-step, we re-wire this belief to become a more positive experience. You gain more awareness around how to wake your body up to being available for more pleasure and the opportunity for more desire. 

Topics In This Episode:

• The origins of our emotions and how we can change them
• Feeling negative emotions on a physiological level
• Exploring the impact of feeling obligated or pressured when it comes to sex
• Someone else’s desires don’t have to mean anything about you
• Evaluating different types of connections with our partners
• Reminding ourselves of why we are doing this work

As always, it has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. Your thoughts about your partner’s desire can and the way we perpetuate these beliefs is keeping us from owning our pleasure. At the end of the day, if you’re wanting sex or not, when you believe that your partner only wants one thing from you, how do you feel? Does it allow for you to feel loved and connected? If not, then drop it! Look at how these thoughts are manifesting in your brain and decide to see it as something neutral and take back your pleasure.