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Let's hear from these women in their own words:
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After years of painful sex due to early menopause, I'd given up. My husband I hadn't had intercourse in years, and no regular intimacy in nearly a decade. I'd tried MANY things before: sex therapy, couples therapy, individual therapy, EMDR.
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My husband told he had 'given up' on trying to have sex with me because he was feeling rejected a lot. So I didn't want that for my marriage. I wanted a strong connected marriage.
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Work-life balance, my life was disappearing in my biz. Shame asking for what I wanted in the bedroom.
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I was stuck in a cycle of having low desire and then having severe guilt for my lower desire (which lowered my desire even more). My boyfriend has a high desire level, and I have always shamed myself and told myself I'm not good enough for him because of it.
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When I joined I was wanting to have more "desire" for sex. I knew it was so much of my thoughts and strict belief system that got in my way. I enjoy sex once I am in the middle of it, and actually have good sex but I wanted to change my thought process to see it as something for me, not just my husband.
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I was already having great sex with my partner! However, I wanted to create more pleasure in my life, I wanted to learn more about self pleasure in particular and build a better relationship with my body. I also had a past incident that I had shoved to the side for a decade and I wanted to get control over it.
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I was always stuck in my head. Feeling like I was doing it wrong. Blaming my husband. Frustrated that I didn't have the "desire" I once had. I wanted to to want sex. I didn't want it to feel like a chore anymore.
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I joined BS90 to reconnect to my inner turned-on woman who felt lost in the midst of marital drama. I also joined to get to a more neutral place within said marriage to determine whether to stay or go.
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I have to admit, I really joined the program so I could give my husband the sexual gifts that I felt he deserved. I have always had a tough time feeling "sexy", initiating sex, and voicing my desires. I wanted to be the "full package" for my husband. What I learned is that if I focus on MY pleasure, I become all those things for my husband.
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I had a few reasons for joining. I wanted to explore what a pleasurable life for me would look like. I spent my whole life thinking about, performing for everyone else. I didn't know what it was like to be in charge of my own pleasure without shame and fear still being present.
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My boyfriend and I were not having as much sex anymore. I was struggling on how to communicate what I liked, wanted, enjoyed in the bedroom. I wanted to learn how to overcome this block. I also lost desire for sex and hardly wanted or had sex which really hurt my boyfriend which then hurt me as well. I wanted to learn how to get my desire back.
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I wanted to embrace my sexuality as the beautiful part of me I know it was meant to be.
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I had a realization that I was having sex with husband because he wanted to and I was doing it to appease him. I wanted to like having sex FOR ME and I wanted to strengthen our marriage through looking forward to being with my husband and having better sex. I also wanted to love my body and not have any insecurities about sex and my body.
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I have always been “meh” about sex, but saw how important it was to my husband. I was curious if I could enjoy it, and what affect that would have on the rest of my life.
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My relationship with sex at this stage in life was lacking and I refused to believe I was going to face the next half of my life with the same. I wanted to stare it straight in the face and say - I see you, I value you, let's work together and make this next life chapter technicolor. What if I have better sex in my 40s, 50s, 60s+ than as a younger woman?
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Sex is always something that I’ve had an insecurity about- an area that I’ve felt broken in. I’ve thought that mine isn’t as good as it should be or that I’m not good enough in bed. And with that, I’ve noticed how much I hold myself back - I know that it could be so much better if I just let go
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I was frustrated with the lack of sex and lack of pleasure in my life. Every other aspect of my life is amazing and I thought it was okay to have this one missing piece of being a sexually pleasured and embodied woman. Until the pain of staying the same outgrew the pain of growing. And then I found Danielle!
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I set out to get more pleasure. I was hesitant to invest time and money in myself for pleasure, but thought "best case scenario, it's worth it to be working out new muscles: my genitals, my brain and my heart". I wanted to be able to feel- actually feel emotions in my physical body. I wanted to experience the rollercoaster of all the descriptive emotion-words I knew. I wanted to be the person who knew the answer when asked what I wanted during sex. I wanted to be emboldened and unapologetic online and offline. I was doing this for me.
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I was frustrated with not enjoying sex and not being eager to be in the bedroom with my husband. I resisted feeling sexual, being sexual, owning my who I was created to be and just being overall afraid of sex and the possibility of intense pleasure.
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I wanted to lean into the woman I'm becoming even more and wanted the group experience! Also just really wanted to work with Danielle longer. (From someone who worked with Danielle 1:1 prior to the group experience.)
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During the years my husband was in med school we both put our sexual pleasure on the back burner. When med school was over we realized things needed to change but weirdly we didn't know how to do that. I had put up barriers to sex that I didn't even know I had. I wanted to ignite more sexual desire to create a more vibrant sex life with my husband.
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I had just completed 6 months of private coaching with Danielle. I absolutely LOVED working with her and I wasn't ready to stop doing all the work that I had done on myself. I felt that being in a group setting, I would be able to see that I wasn't alone and that other women were probably having the same feelings that I was and thought that would be helpful.