It's My Pleasure Podcast

Let’s discuss the patriarchy and how it impacts our ability to experience pleasure in our bodies, starting from a young age, and sticking with us throughout our entire lives. The reason I’m talking about the patriarchy on a sex podcast is that the way we are socialized as women is going to greatly impact the way that we are able to show up in our bodies and experience sex and pleasure. When we have awareness about the types of messages we receive, we can see how our brain is naturally going to react when it comes to sex, pleasure, and our body image. Then, once we have awareness about it, we can begin to change and rewire it, so that we are more tuned in to experience pleasure.

In this episode, I share some of the patriarchal messaging we receive, how to work through those beliefs, and share some of the transformations that women in my group coaching program are experiencing right now. 

Topics in this episode

• The image of the good girl, and it’s affect on...

Across the last two episodes, we’ve been discussing motivation and desire when it comes to sex, how they’re different, and how they interact with each other in order for you to have more pleasure. So often the terms “desire” and “arousal” are used interchangeably, but they really are not the same. Desire is the eagerness and wanting to have sex, and arousal is the physiological response to sexual stimulus. In this episode, we dive into what it means to feel aroused, how to get there, and why it’s the missing piece to your libido and being able to be a fully pleasured woman. 

I’m also really excited to share a recent testimonial I received from a woman in my group coaching program, Better Sex in 90 Days. We’re coming up on the last few weeks of the program, and there have been so many ah-ha moments, mindset shifts, and celebrations, and it has been such a joy to see the amazing things these women have accomplished. 

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If you’ve been listening to this podcast, you’ll know that your thoughts create your feelings. This episode is a continuation of the conversation we started last week about motivation and desire, and how those play a role over the course of a long-term monogamous relationship, which may result in a lack of desire for sex. Last week I shared the difference between motivation and desire, the cultural factors that created the motivation for sex, and that once the goal of a long term relationship is secured, the motivation for sex is diminished. 

In this episode, we continue exploring the connection between motivation and desire, and how we can use our thoughts to create the feelings of enthusiasm and excitement, which drive our desire for pleasurable sex. To hear last week’s episode, go here: https://daniellesavory.com/ep-70-motivation-to-have-sex/

Topics in this episode

• Have some compassion and love for yourself.
• The difference between motivation and...

One of the most common things I hear from women is about how their desire has diminished throughout the course of their long-term, monogamous relationships, and that it may have even stopped altogether. For most of us, we have been brought up with a cultural narrative of the importance of securing that long-term relationship. And one of the ways in which we secure this relationship with our “person” is through sex. In this episode, I dive into the subconscious motivations for sex within a relationship, what it is that creates desire, and a prompt for self-reflection on why it is you want to tap into your desire and for doing this work.  

Topics in this episode 

• Pleasure is not measured in the same sense of achievement or milestones as other areas of our lives, making it difficult to find the motivation to invest in ourselves and our desires
• Motivation versus desire
• The biggest factor that keeps us from owning our pleasure
• We can’t enjoy sex more if...

Brig Johnson is a fellow life coaching colleague and friend of mine. She is an amazing representation of a woman who fully celebrates her body, and I wanted to have her on the show today to share about her recent journey of doing a boudoir photoshoot in honor of her 55th birthday. Brig is such an inspiration, and I am excited to have her in my world because I feel like I have permission to shine brighter when I’m with her because of the way that she shines. In our conversation, she shares her journey of deciding to pursue a boudoir photo shoot, the mental preparation she did, and how she celebrates herself and her body every day. 

Brig is on a mission to help high-achieving Black females become un-fuckwithable. Her unique approach combines her knowledge as an advanced practice healthcare provider and her skill as a life coach, and her direct style helps clients see themselves with clarity and compassion so that they reach the results they desire. If Brig sounds like she...

When we start to do this work, it starts with little tweaks that we do to think differently, to have a different perspective, and to unlearn our behaviors. But really, when you look at the bigger picture, what you’re doing is changing your personality. Who we are and how we show up in the world is a collection of different things: things we’ve learned, the thoughts we have, the beliefs that we have, which dictates how we feel emotionally in our body. And when we start to challenge how we feel in our bodies and make shifts in our thoughts and beliefs, it changes who we are and how we show up. In this episode I really dive into the emotion of shame, especially around self-pleasure, and how we can notice our thoughts, and begin to shift them so that we can become the self-pleasured women we want to be. 

Topics in this episode: 

• How addicted we get to our personality
• Why is this so hard, even when I know this isn’t serving me?
• Emotion showing up in our...

For today’s topic, I wanted to talk about the idea of pleasure. It came to mind when I was working with my group program, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I was recently asked what I meant when I said pleasure, and how the women in that program know if they are experiencing pleasure or not. We’re told what pleasure should feel like or what pleasure looks like, and we don’t often think about what it means to actually feel like. In this episode, I share with you how to identify what it is that you find pleasurable, and how you can apply that to your sex life and become the sexual woman you seek to be. 

Topics in this episode

• Defining pleasure and sexual pleasure
• Let yourself be curious
• Pleasure is made up of physical touch and the filter with which we see it
• Context matters
• Pleasure is subjective
• Finding what it takes to feel sexual pleasure

 It’s been my absolute pleasure to share this information with you and I hope it allows you to find more pleasure...

I want to start by discussing the current events that are taking place in response to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, and the thousands of other Black lives that have been unjustly taken. It has been very clear to me why this movement of Black Lives Matter is so important. With what is going on right now, I want to start by saying to my Black friends, listeners, and colleagues; I love you. I see you. And I fully stand with you, today and every day. 

Being a white woman in this country and really listening to the Black voices close to me, in my local community and beyond has been particularly important recently. I am learning and unpacking, and I want to continue to learn and be a part of the conversation and take action that I can take. 

In this episode, I share with you a Q&A, something I’ve never done before. The topics I cover in this episode are how to feel pleasure when there is so much overwhelm and deep hurt, how to push through...

Today I wanted to share five practical things you can practice to have better sex. If you want to get better at anything, it requires practice, and the same thing applies to sex. And it’s important that we practice these things outside of sex so that it becomes more of a default in the moment, and you can really feel and enjoy the pleasure of having sex. Carve out time in your every day life to really be intentional and practice these five things, and you’ll be able to feel more pleasured and have better sex. 

Topics in this episode

• The 5 things to practice for better sex:
  • Feeling pleasure
  • Thinking about sex
  • Connecting with your lady parts
  • Focusing
  • The muscles you are going to use during sex
• Finding moments of pleasure throughout the day
• Find time to think about your partner more, and to be eager to see them and spend time with them
• Pay attention to the person he is and the things he is doing, rather than the things he isn’t doing
• Notice what it feels...

We are going to talk today about this idea of not being sexual, and what that even means. Women often say to me, “I’m just not that sexual”, and it seems like an innocent thing, but I want to unpack why this sneaky thought is negatively affecting your ability to become more sexual. We’re all here because we want to have better sex, and believing you aren’t sexual is holding you back from the sex you deserve. I’m also going to share a simple technique you can use to shift away from this thought and to be able to identify as a more sexual person. 

Topics in this episode

• The difference between being asexual versus not feeling very sexual
• When you think “I’m not sexual enough” it’s going to affect your ability to access pleasure
• The roadblocks in starting from a place of “not enough”-ness
• When we identify ourselves in a certain way, it feels like it’s set in stone and impossible to change, but...