It's My Pleasure Podcast

I think it’s time we dedicate an episode to talking about one of my favorite topics, self-pleasure! When it comes to the thought of self-pleasure, shame tends to be the predominant feeling, and it comes from the ways in which we’ve been socialized and taught about enjoying our bodies. In this episode, I get into some of the specific beliefs that hinder us from being able to explore and enjoy our bodies, and then how to shift those beliefs. Once we’re able to create that shift, it opens up the possibility of what sex and pleasure could look like for us, and then we’re able to apply that to our sex lives in our partnered experiences! I also share some of the ways in which it could negatively impact your sex life, and some ways to get started.

This is a topic that comes up with my one-on-one coaching clients, as well as with the women in my group coaching, Better Sex in 90 Days. I am currently taking applications for the next group session, which starts in...

When I say “mind-blowing sex”, what images come to mind for you? For most women, there’s an immediate image that pops in our heads that we’ve been fed through the media about what incredible sex should look like. This image in our minds forms how we think it looks, and how it feels, to be turned on and pleasured. What if I told you that this image of mind-blowing sex is actually keeping you from having that kind of sex that you’re picturing? In this episode, I talk about these sex standards, and how to let go of them so that you can create your own image of pleasurable sex, and you can start having the sex of your dreams. 

Topics in this episode

• Is there a right way to have sex?
• How this affects the way we’re thinking about our sexual partners
• The standards you’re holding yourself against and how you’re measuring the success of your sex
• Confirmation bias - the brain believes something, and it’s going to work to find...

Today’s topic may seem similar to things we’ve talked about in previous episodes, but I really wanted to simply talk about flipping the narrative about how we look at pleasure in general. So many of my clients and podcast listeners come to me to figure out how to make time in their life for pleasure and how they can squeeze in their sex life into their day. But what if instead of trying to fit it into our lives, we made sex and pleasure the goal to begin with?

Topics in this episode

• The socialization of hustle culture
• The expectation and glorification of doing it all
• Why we feel compelled to take on extra burdens and tasks
• The cost of doing it all, and how that impacts our pleasure
• Sex and pleasure aren’t things to wait for

It has been my absolute pleasure to share this with you today. I hope this episode has given you food for thought about what it would look like for you to really flip the narrative and focus on pleasure, and letting that be the focus that...

I talk to a lot of women every week, and one of the main things I hear is the idea that they don’t know where to get started. When you think about taking on your sex life and creating the result of having a pleasurable sex life, it can totally feel overwhelming. This feeling of overwhelm causes our brains to shut down, and we don’t even know where or how to get started. In this episode, I share with you the tools to break down this huge undertaking and walk you through step-by-step with specific examples of how you can create momentum and become a turned-on woman. 

Topics in this episode

• The indicators that your sex life may not be creating the result of you being a turned-on woman
• What causes us to shut down
• Pause and examine the elements
• Have a vision and know what you’re going towards
• Understanding that pleasure is possible for you
• Previous episode, 6 Skills Needed for Better Sex: https://daniellesavory.com/77-6-skills-needed-for-better-sex/
• The...

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. 

Topics in this episode

• When we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-than
• How you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right now
• Allowing yourself to look into the...

I was talking with a woman the other day and she told me she has had an amazing sex life before. She has felt sexually alive in her body. She also told me that for a variety of reasons, she just doesn’t feel like that person anymore. She feels disconnected from her past-self, but she knows that it can be better again. This conversation is an example of what I’m calling the “pedestal effect”, putting a past version or a future version of yourself, and what is possible for you, on a pedestal. In this episode, I share with you why this can be a problem, and how to look at your current state and the current level of happiness with your sex life with love and appreciation, and why that is so important to taking it to the next level. 

Topics in this episode

• When we put others, or other verions of ourselves, on a pedestal, we automatically see ourselves as less-than
• How you’re inadvertently rejecting yourself right now
• Allowing yourself to look into the...

In this episode, I wanted to share with you the six skills to practice for better sex. This is the foundation for the work I do with my clients, and they are the key to unlocking pleasure, pleasurable sex, and for being a pleasured woman. With these skills, you will be able to connect with your body, give yourself grace, and make incremental changes so that over time, your sex, and your life, keeps getting better and better. 

These skills are part of the foundational work we do in my group coaching experience, Better Sex in 90 Days, starting September 17th. If you’re on the fence at all, I encourage you to fill out an application and hop on the phone with me. This work changes your life. This isn’t to be waited on as something to do later. The longer we wait to make this a priority and don’t work on practicing these skills, is time that we are just letting life happen to us. This is the shit that matters most. 

Topics in this episode

• The 6 Skills to...

 A common misconception that the reason we’re not having orgasmic sex is because of our partner, or our children, or something else that is standing in the way. So many women truly feel that if things were different in their relationships, then they would be able to have better sex and it would be more attainable for them. In this episode, I explore some of these excuses and share with you why it’s not them, it’s you, and that instead of feeling guilt or shame, this is a powerful step in taking back control of your sexuality. We have to reprogram our brains on how it comes to thinking about your partner, yourself, and your sex life, in order to create the environment for pleasure, and that is what empowerment is all about. 

This is the exact work I do with my clients all of the time, because it’s about creating a process and a skill set so that you are changing who you are being as a woman. You become a turned-on woman. You become an orgasmic...

I recently wrapped up the first of my group coaching programs, Better Sex in 90 Days, and I want to start this episode by sharing feedback from one of the participants who said that she embarked on this journey because she saw how important it was for her husband. Now, after completing the program, she says that it is her favorite gift she’s ever given to herself. In the beginning, she was curious to see if sex was something that she could enjoy, not just something that was for her husband. Through this coaching, she now thinks about sex more often and learned that she actually likes sex a lot.

Which is what leads us to the topic of this episode. I hear from many women that they want to pursue coaching and investing in their sexuality because it will benefit their husbands or partners. The motivation for these women is that this investment is a good idea, simply because it will benefit the people around them, without really thinking about themselves. Listeners, I want to...

Have you ever withheld sex as a punishment or have used it as a reward for “good behavior”? I was on a call with a client recently and we were talking about this idea of withholding or rewarding with sex, and it made me think of a time in the early years of my very own marriage when I would tell my husband that if he did certain things, that he would be rewarded with sex. I remember one argument in particular over something really small, and I was paying attention to my brain as it had the thoughts, “I’m going to show him! I’m not going to have sex with him tonight. I might not even have sex with him this whole week!”

This idea of using sex as a reward or withholding it as a punishment is something that we see a lot of in our society. In this episode, I share why this thinking is so damaging to your own self-concept of your sexuality, and why it’s so important to prioritize your pleasure and the connection between you and your...